"in elizabeth's estimation"
 It's the Thought that Counts
 By: Elizabeth Bridgers

I am blessed with many kind and loyal friends whom I often take for granted. It’s only at major life transitions when I begin to consciously recognize the value of those people you can truly depend upon in a crisis. Perhaps it’s during a medical emergency or death in the family that you see who you can really depend upon. Those are the people who show up at your door with food, or an offer to watch the kids, or to do your laundry, or whatever small gesture that really helps you through.

Of all of my good girlfriends (and I have many), there is one who stands out. She’s not my best friend and I’m not hers. We go for weeks at a time without catching up because we both have busy careers and lives. But when we do get together, it always “seems like old times.” Sometimes one of us is giving the other much-needed advice or a sympathetic ear. Mostly, we’re having fun. This month, she’s leaving Asheville for the exciting world of our nation’s capitol, and I’m already beginning to fret over the things that I’ll miss.

Laura and I met in 2000 when we both joined the faculty at Asheville School. We didn’t work in the same department and so while we liked each other, we didn’t hang out together all that much. After I left, we scheduled girls’ night outs a couple times a month.

Laura never got the memo that said “it’s the thought that counts,” because she is perhaps the most excellent gift-giver I know. Case in point: most of the people in my circle know I collect tea towels. Collect probably isn’t the right word, because it implies that they’re tucked away, kept pristine. I use my tea towels. And when I go sight-seeing, the item I always look for in the gift shop is a tea towel. They’re useful, remind me of a wonderful experience, and they’re easy to slip into my luggage without weighing me down.

I guess my point is — I love tea towels. Of all of my friends, Laura is the only one who has ever given me a tea towel —  three of them, in fact! I’ve never received anything extravagant from her, but at birthdays or Christmas, she always gives me a little something that she knows I’ll like. When she hasn’t traveled anywhere interesting to get a tea towel, she finds the most wonderful at-home spa treats.

All the gifts are nice but of course, that’s not the basis of our friendship. I mention them only because they are thoughtful to the extreme. As with all good girlfriends, the most wonderful thing about being friends with Laura was in the simple quiet moments — giggling about some boy one of us was dating. Or swapping romance novels when neither of us could find a boy to date.

So while I’ll miss the tea towels and the one friend who always remembers and acknowledges my birthday, what I’ll really miss is having a friend that I get to hang out with and just be. Funny that I didn’t really appreciate it until now when she’s moving on. So don’t fall into the trap — tell your good girlfriends how much you appreciate their gifts (tangible and not) to your life now while the good times are still now.

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